Okay, before you start thinking or saying anything, I know having a baby is going to change our lives. It would be crazy to think that it wouldn’t. In fact, I want our baby to change our lives.
The reality is that I’ve already begun changing. The most obvious way is that I’m pregnant. Pregnancy brings it’s own changes and challenges but if it didn’t that would mean I wasn’t going to be having a baby.
The biggest way it changes me is that after I give birth, I’ll be a mom. However, some of the ways people talk about becoming a mom gives the weird impression that this change includes a zombified/stepford-wives version of yourself and that the “real” you will just have to take back seat to this “mom version” of yourself until… well, most likely forever. Did you have dreams? Too bad. Did you have hobbies and interests? If they don’t include your baby say goodbye now.
I’m just not buying it. I think the problem is people’s idea of change. That change comes in and rips you away from all the things you love. Sometimes it does take things away but I have never gone through a change without still being myself... possibly a slightly altered version of myself but never one where anyone I knew could not recognize me. A lot of change happens inwardly and it seems like a big deal to the person it is happening to (add nine months of hormones and it seems like a bigger deal) but I’m still me and you are still you.
I also don’t want to separate myself like that, as if there are different “versions” of me and the “real” me is who I should really be. I just don’t feel like that is healthy on any level and it especially sounds mentally exhausting. I already am myself AND I’m going to be a mother. It’s hard to imagine right now but in a few weeks it’s going to happen. It’s not like a mother-alien-thing is going to attack me at the precise moment I give birth and then I will be a MOTHER! *insert lightning and maniacal laughter here*
No thanks. Yes, I’ve had nine months to help prepare me for this moment but when I think back on the entirety of my life and all the changes that have already taken place - puberty, starting my first job, going off to college, getting married… all I have to say is that changes are part and parcel with life. That’s not going to change now (see what I did there? Ha!).
And because I love lists, I’ve decided to write down a few things that I’m fairly confident will not change when I have a baby:
The best part about this list is that I get to share it all with our baby. This new little person hasn’t experienced any of these things yet and we get to be the ones to show them the world. It’s pretty exciting. I’m excited to get to know this baby that’s already been changing my life and I’m excited for them to get to know me... and s'mores. I love s'mores.
The Wakeful Dreamer
The reality is that I’ve already begun changing. The most obvious way is that I’m pregnant. Pregnancy brings it’s own changes and challenges but if it didn’t that would mean I wasn’t going to be having a baby.
The biggest way it changes me is that after I give birth, I’ll be a mom. However, some of the ways people talk about becoming a mom gives the weird impression that this change includes a zombified/stepford-wives version of yourself and that the “real” you will just have to take back seat to this “mom version” of yourself until… well, most likely forever. Did you have dreams? Too bad. Did you have hobbies and interests? If they don’t include your baby say goodbye now.
I’m just not buying it. I think the problem is people’s idea of change. That change comes in and rips you away from all the things you love. Sometimes it does take things away but I have never gone through a change without still being myself... possibly a slightly altered version of myself but never one where anyone I knew could not recognize me. A lot of change happens inwardly and it seems like a big deal to the person it is happening to (add nine months of hormones and it seems like a bigger deal) but I’m still me and you are still you.
I also don’t want to separate myself like that, as if there are different “versions” of me and the “real” me is who I should really be. I just don’t feel like that is healthy on any level and it especially sounds mentally exhausting. I already am myself AND I’m going to be a mother. It’s hard to imagine right now but in a few weeks it’s going to happen. It’s not like a mother-alien-thing is going to attack me at the precise moment I give birth and then I will be a MOTHER! *insert lightning and maniacal laughter here*
No thanks. Yes, I’ve had nine months to help prepare me for this moment but when I think back on the entirety of my life and all the changes that have already taken place - puberty, starting my first job, going off to college, getting married… all I have to say is that changes are part and parcel with life. That’s not going to change now (see what I did there? Ha!).
And because I love lists, I’ve decided to write down a few things that I’m fairly confident will not change when I have a baby:
- Wearing a bikini - I’ve never liked showing a lot of my skin. I know some are all about showing off their “battle scars” (stretch marks for those of you who don’t know) and I’m not ashamed of the ones I’ve been getting but that part of my body is a nice shade of white that I’ve been working on my entire life and I’m not about to give up on that now.
- Drinking Coffee - I have never had a true, full cup of coffee yet. If I can make it through early morning jobs and long nights writing papers in college without it, I’m pretty convinced that I won’t take it up now.
- Being a consistent blogger - … yeah, I’m just not very good at that.
- Naps - I love naps so much and I love it when people suggest that a new mom should nap when the baby naps. I will be doing that!
- Reading - Yes, there may not be as much time for it, but this lifelong romance we have is not just going to end.
The best part about this list is that I get to share it all with our baby. This new little person hasn’t experienced any of these things yet and we get to be the ones to show them the world. It’s pretty exciting. I’m excited to get to know this baby that’s already been changing my life and I’m excited for them to get to know me... and s'mores. I love s'mores.
The Wakeful Dreamer
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